Getting over it

I'm reminding myself of not fall into that path, many many times, which is very fortune that I managed to stay that way. Seeking for that thing is rather agony at many levels, what I find was that happiness would be compromise in that process. I might end up being alone, that is a certainty that I am sure of, but can be change is that I am happy throughout the process, what can't be change is the fact that I am who I am.

Loneliness is hard to cope, I will eventually succumb to it, what prevail from all this ruckus, is that I stay true to myself. Honesty is what I can offer to myself, that is the only thing I can offer anyway. Coming from that story, which started and ended with nothing to give and to gain, rather pathetic to be the less, what is the expectation had been clear all from the start, separately, on one side, craving for the other one is as strong as anyone could summarize, however wonderful it may seen at first , the ending was a whole different story to tell. Again, the same lesson had been taught, I should had never wish for more, instead hope for less, and this appear to be a much logical approach.

Putting aside everything and anything, the outcome of everything and anything is always a different tales to tell from what we expect it to be. A conclusion from all this, I gain many thing, feeling that I never had before, craving that doesn't seem logical to me before had now make a perfect sense to me, what is it like to fall in love for the first time; the only loss was, nothing had started and ended with nothing.

For this, I remove my attention from love to myself, I promise to not stray from looking after myself, I am so vulnerable inside that anymore of this will ultimately crash me into pieces, love is a very dangerous thing to me, had I become immune to it? Don't think so.